


It's Time to Wake Up, Rufus!

by MorgannaSaphireRaven



Series: A World Reborn [8]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), On The Way To A Smile: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Acceptance, Convicton, Determination, Ghosts, M/M, Psychological dreams, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorgannaSaphireRaven/pseuds/MorgannaSaphireRaven
Summary: Shinra Holiday 2020.  Day 3-Lights, Camera, Action;  Ghosts of Christmas PastEver since Rufus had contracted the Stigma, he was haunted by disturbing dreams but had always managed to awaken himself.  But this night of nights, Winter's Eve, Rufus breaks!  He has kept a brave face in front of the many patients, doctors and staff who reside with him and his Turks at Healin but his strength and will deflate in the debilitating pain he suffers when the weather becomes extreme.  He and Tseng have spent months tiptoeing around each other and their feelings but tonight, Rufus bares his soul to his lover, and this act frees him enough to take hold of his courage and experience this dream in full as Rufus believes that it is a message to him.  Whether it is to help or hinder, he has yet to find out.
Relationships: Rufus Shinra/Tseng
Series: A World Reborn [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989298
Kudos: 5
Collections: Shinra Holiday 2020





	It's Time to Wake Up, Rufus!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kitsune_queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_queen/gifts).



**εγλ 0009**

The medications had finally taken effect, and Rufus had drifted into a deeper sleep. Tseng looked at his beloved. His heart in turmoil. There were so many things left unsaid between them. The job was always getting in the way. And now Rufus was stricken with GeoStigma. Tseng despaired at ever finding a solution to remedy the ills they were currently facing.

<\--->

After Rufus had disappeared from the townhouse in Kalm, Tseng, Reno, Rude, and Elena took almost three months to find him. And when they had, it was to help him and another man out of a rapidly flooding cave, where Kilmister had been keeping them. It had been under the sham of keeping them away from and quarantined from the rest of the population while he treated them- As these people had developed the Stigma. So they had returned to Mountain Lodge, and once Rufus was treated for his other injuries and made comfortable. Tseng and the rest briefed Rufus on the current situation.

After Rufus told his Turks all that had happened, they had learned that Rufus had only recently contracted the stigma. Tseng was ready to shoot Kilmister himself. One bullet at a time! Starting with the doctor's ankles and working his way up the doctor's body. Tseng had never felt a rage so deep and personnel in his life. He wanted to make the man suffer as he had done to not only Rufus but the other citizens he had taken to this supposed sanctuary. Seeing the rage in Tseng's eyes, though, had Rufus calming him. "Not yet, Tseng! We still need him. He may be the only person who has the knowledge and skills to find a cure. We have the stimulant, and for now, that will have to be enough." And even with that order, Tseng burned with quiet anger as they set up the lodge as a calm and safe retreat for those infected. And a base of operations for finding a cure. Rufus renamed the dwelling, Healin.

<\--->

Three months had passed now, and it was Winter's Eve day. And they were no closer to finding a cure, let alone a cause, and the stimulant was running dangerously low now they were providing doses to those who lived in Edge. But Rufus had remained optimistic and continued to allow Kilmister to conduct his research. And as the holidays approached, Rufus declared that they should celebrate, as it would lift the spirits of those who were sick and restore hope to them. And thank the doctors, nurses and other staff who had come to Healin to help care for the sick.

Rufus, his Turks, and those who weren't bedridden had decorated the living areas of Healin. Nothing extravagant. A tree with some lights that Elena had found in storage. Evergreen wreaths cut from the trees in the surrounding forest and decorated with ribbons, tree cones, beads and dried berries. And pillar candles housed under glass domes.

Reno and Rude had gone into Edge to get food supplies for their feast. While Tseng went to find a few residents willing to come to Healin to help prepare and cook the dinner. It wasn't like the Holiday celebrations that Reginald, Rufus's father, had thrown. But a more homey, intimate affair. There was a lot of laughter and reminiscing, but more importantly, there was a lot of talk of a brighter tomorrow. As the night wore on, the weather changed, and the winds blew in from the north at gale force, driving heavy snow in all directions; within a matter of hours, there accumulated two feet or more of snow. And sadly, many of the patients began to feel the effects of their Stigma. So before the night's festivities could be ruined. Rufus made one last toast to them all and bid everyone goodnight.

The nurse, assigned to Rufus during the night hours, came and changed his dressings, carefully cleaning the infected areas before appalling the new ones. She handed him his medicines and a glass of water. "You'll be needing these tonight, Sir! Better to take it now before things start to hurt." She commented. Rufus sighed; he hated having to take so many drugs but took them anyway. He had a feeling it wasn't going to be a pleasant night, judging by the way his muscles had already started to ache and twitch.

Once she left, Tseng stepped out of the shadows and walked over to Rufus's bed. A clean pair of flannel pyjamas in his hands. One thing Rufus would not tolerate was having a stranger dress him. And he only barely accepted it when it was Tseng or Rude. But the Stigma and the bandages made it nearly impossible for him to dress. So as Tseng silently helped him out of his suit, a simplified version of the one he had preferred to wear, Rufus tried to help him as best he could. Gentle and efficient, as ever, but tonight this routine shattered the emotional walls in Rufus's mind.

"Tseng?" Rufus let the name come out in a hoarse whisper.

"Yes, Sir?" Tseng automatically replied without looking at Rufus. The boundaries of professionalism still thick between them.

"Damn-it, why are we still treating each other like this?" Rufus growled in frustration. His eyes were pleading, wishing Tseng would look at him.

Tseng looks up from his task

Startled at the beseeching tone in Rufus's voice. "Like what, Sir?" Tseng calmly replied. He was desperately trying to stay in neutral territory.

"Like two strangers," Rufus murmured. "Please, Tseng, I am trying my best to stay focused on the positive. I want to find a cure and be rid of this disease. But I can't do this by myself! I have never felt more alone in my entire life than I do right now! I need you. No, it's more than that, it's… Oh, hell! I love you!" He finished ferociously.

Tseng sat on the edge of the bed, stunned. He hadn't expected to hear those words, ever! But they echoed his feelings for Rufus. But right now wasn't the time. So as he held his hands, he simply stated. "Rufus, I love you too! And as much as I want to throw caution to the wind and say to hell with everything and take you somewhere safe and just be with you, I can't. And neither can you! " Stopping a moment to gaze into Rufus's beautiful blue eyes, he gathers his thoughts; Rufus deserved that much. "I can't give you my all, not yet anyway, and you deserve no less. And I want you to be able to give me your all. But above all else, I want you to get well! And that is where I am focusing my energies."

Rufus couldn't take it anymore; he wrapped his arms around Tseng and held on for dear life. "But what if tomorrow never comes?" He whispered as he became overcome with hopelessness. And before he could stop them, the tears came. Slowly at first, but the damn broke, and he wept bitterly. Too weak to pretend any more.

Tseng felt the moment Rufus lost his battle with his emotions and could only hold him gently as the flood of harsh tears soaked the front of his blazer, stroking the soft strands of his hair, hoping to calm Rufus. And then time stood still as he gently kissed the tears away and whispered. "Rufus, you are my moon and stars. You shine brightly within my darkness. I will be here for you, always!" But once Tseng's lips reached Rufus's, there was a spark of electricity that jumped between them as they kissed each other. Savage and primal, naked and exposed. Their souls laid bare. Shyly their hands explored each other. But time was not on their side as the sleeping pills took effect, and Rufus yawned hugely.

Tseng chuckled as he stroked Rufus's face. "Time for bed!" he whispered huskily. But he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted.

"Will you stay with me?" Rufus softly pleaded.

"For a bit! At least until you're asleep. I need to make sure things get cleaned up and secure the building." Tseng replied as he finished dressing Rufus and helped him under the covers. Taking off his shoes, Tseng laid down beside Rufus and cradled him in his arms.

Rufus snuggled into the crook of Tsengs' arm and laid his arm over the top of Theng's chest, sighing contently. He gives Tseng one last kiss before closing his eyes and whispers. "I love you, my heart."

Rufus felt the tug of the medicine as it sent him into a deeper sleep. It was annoying that he had to resort to drugs to help him achieve a decent night's sleep. When he was active and had things to occupy his mind during the day, the stigma's pain and weakness lessen. But nighttime seemed to be the most challenging time to keep these effects at bay, so this is when he took his stimulant. But nights when the weather took a turn for the worst, the pain became excruciating, and Rufus had no choice but to take the extra painkillers and sleep aid. He just prayed that there would be no nightmares!  
<\--->

Rufus walked down the highway towards the ruins of Midgar. The setting sun, a backdrop of blazing orange, yellow and red against the colossal pile of twisted steel, glass and rubble. As the sky behind him faded into night. Along both sides of the road were lined the souls of those who had died of the Stigma. Tormented faces, twisted in pain. Tortured voices, moaning and wailing in eternal agony. Their bodies were oozing a black substance from the sores inflicted by the disease.

But this time, Rufus didn't run from them as he had when he had first experienced these dreams. Because Rufus realized that this nightmare was trying to tell him something, so he acknowledged them this time. "I know you are suffering, and for that, I am sorry!" Why these spirits remained, Rufus was unsure! But he was beginning to believe something or someone was preventing them from dissipating into the Lifestream.

As he continued his journey, Rufus listened to their voices. Some pleading with him to end their misery. Others were asking about their loved ones. And some uttering words of shock and confusion. At that moment, Rufus recognized the fundamental change within himself. These people had, in one way or another, relied on him and his company. And the stark truth was, he had failed them. "I will fix this! I WILL make it right," He vowed through clenched teeth. His hands fisted so tight; his nails dug into his palms.

The spirits sighed and dissipated, leaving this dream world silent and still. And in a flash and a blur of motion. Rufus found himself standing in the collapsed main foyer of the Shinra Tower. In front of him stood Heidegger and Scarlett. Their arms crossed and smirking evilly at him.

"Oh look, it's the would-be President of Shinra Inc!" Scarlett snarked and laughed cruelly.

"Na! The boy never had what it took to run the Company!" Heidegger growled viciously. Disdain etched into every inch of his face.

Rufus glared at the pair. He had never liked them as both were too quick to kiss his father's ass and gain his favour. More concerned with their standing within the corporation and their extravagant lifestyles. Well, Scarlett was. But what drove him to fits of destructive anger was the way they condescending talked down to him. Each of them had delighted in publicly shaming him any chance they could get. Subtly undermining any headway, he had made with his father. Even after his father had died, they acted like they knew what was best for him and the company. In the end, that arrogance is what had got them killed.

Taking a calming breath, Rufus walks towards them. "You tried my entire life to usurp my potion within the company. But I will tell you now. Your behaviour only spurred me into reckless actions. Ones that my father could overlook. So, in the end, I defeated you! Neither one of you shall rule Shinra corporation as you are both dead!" His voice held an edge of steel to it. His eyes, a glacial blue, sparked with anger. "Now begone!"

The appropriations looked startled. They hadn't expected Rufus to fight back. They no longer had a hold on him, and so too did their presence fade from the dream world. Rufus smirked. He had waited a lifetime to tell those two to go to hell, and he sincerely hoped they had. Though, facing these two demons provided Rufus with the courage to move forward in the altered reality.

Rufus now climbed up the service stairs. Though bent a twisted, he was able to traverse them with ease. Until he came upon the forty-ninth floor, and before Rufus, stood two men. So similar in appearance, one might think they were father and son. Perhaps in a small way, they were as it was SOLDIER First; Angeal Hewly and his protegee SOLDIER First; Zack Fair. Rufus was speechless. Out of anybody on this planet, Rufus assumed that these two would have moved on.

Angeal shook his head and smiled. "In some ways, we have, but in others, we haven't.!"

Rufus felt more confused, "Can you read my mind?" He gasped.

Zack let out a bark of laughter. "Rufus, this is your dream, and we are in it. No, we can not read your mind, but we can hear your thoughts!"

"OH!" Rufus replied stupidly. "Why are you here, then?" He asked in a subdued voice.

"Two reasons!" Zack stated confidently. "The first is; to ask you if you know why Cloud defeated you?"

Rufus nodded; he had figured that out a while ago. "It wasn't because he thought he was a SOLDIER! It was because Cloud knew that I didn't own him. SOLDIER or not, he wasn't property. He was a person. Lost and confused, perhaps. But more than aware that he no longer wanted to be apart of the company." Rufus replied with conviction.

Angeal nodded. "That's right, Rufus. None of us belonged to Shinra. Not us! Not the Turks! We were not assets to be used and discarded by your father's whims. But that was a path of realization you began to walk when you acknowledge you had feelings for Tseng. Am I correct?" Rufus nodded in agreement, and Angeal smiled, "Now, here is the second reason for our presence. The cause of this madness is not your doing! The responsibility rests solely on the shoulders of your father and Hojo! "

Rufus looked at Angeal in stunned amazement. He had expected a lecture on Honour and integrity. Of accepting responsibility for the part, his company had played. But instead, Angela was telling him to pass the buck… Or was he? Rufus stared hard at the former SOLDIER as he contemplated the context of his statement.

Rufus had been having these dreams ever since he contracted the Stigma. He had never gotten further than the point where he encountered a multitude of spirits—seeing and hearing them wailing and moaning. There lesions weeping black had always caused him to jerk into wakefulness. But this time, Rufus had pushed further, had gotten beyond that point. So what was Angeal telling him? He pondered the words for quite a while, and in a blinding flash of insight, it came to him!

"I am not the one responsible for how this all started. It begun with my father and then spiralled into madness due to Hojo's mechanisms! That that fault does not lie on my shoulders! But because I have chosen not to let the company, MY Company!, lie in ruin. It is my responsibility to see these wrongs corrected!"

Angeal nodded, a genuine smile upon his face. "Indeed, it is Rufus. But a warning! You have the strength of character to be the driving force people need to rebuild their lives. But stray too far from this path you have set yourself on, and you will be no better than your father was! Do not let anger and doubt consume you! Believe in yourself and those who have chosen to stand with you!"

At this point, Zack interjected. "Also, remember you have allies! Who can appear in the most unlikely of places and situations?. Do not ignore them!" He waved as both men turned and walked away, fading slowly into nothingness.

Rufus was confused by the younger SOLDIERS parting words. But, he had a feeling that he would know the answer when the time came, or the situation presented itself. But for now, Rufus let it rest in the back of his mind. He knew where he had to go next. It was time to confront his father!

The stairway dissolved around him, and in the next moment, he was standing in the office he and his father had claimed. But it was whole. Like it had been before the attack from the Diamond Weapon. His father sat in the highback chair behind the desk, smoking a cigar. Smirking at his son and leering at him, and states. "You are pathetic! I should have killed you when I had found out you were fucking that Turk. Too bad society frowns on things like that."

Rufus stood calmly before his father. His posture relaxed as he crossed his arms in front of him. "Oh? And I suppose you are divulging this tidbit of information in the hopes I'll revert into that five-year-old trying to win your approval? That I would be so traumatized, I'll fall to my knees and beg you to reconsider? Father! I do not need your validation."

His father laughed cruelly. "Oh, is that so, my boy? Do I need to remind you of all the times you tried to seek my approval?" Letting the question linger in the space between them.

Rufus smirked in response and strode forward. Once he stood before the desk, Rufus shoved his right hand in front of his father's face. "I do not need your validation for anything!" He growled menacingly. "Because of you and your delusion of Grandeur. The people and I are sick from this incurable disease! Because you had to control the world. You destroyed the very thing that would have kept you in power, The people's trust!"

Rufus was breathing heavily. He had waited a lifetime to tell his father how he felt. And now that he was, he felt liberated. But that did not extinguish the flames of anger that coursed through him.

Taking a moment to reign in his emotions and calm himself. He took a long hard look at the man he had spent almost three decades trying to win not only his approval but his trust and love of a parent. "But in the end, all I feel for you is a pity! " He quietly stated.

Rufus's voice became silky with a deadly edge of venom as he continued. "But let me let you in on a little secret! You are the truly pathetic one! I may have the stigma, but it has opened my eyes to the truth. I have witnessed the people's suffering and share in that experience. AND I have a love of A MAN WHO LOVES ME BACK! That is more than you ever had, old man." Glaring straight into his father's eyes, "I AM NOT LIKE YOU, AND I NEVER WILL BE!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Releasing all the pent up fury he had led in check for so long.

And in an instant, his father, the office and the dream vanished with an audible pop as he felt strong arms wrap around him. Holding him in a secure cocoon of warmth and love. "Shhh, Rufus, it's alright. It was just a dream, and I am here now!" Tseng's voice, filled with concern, invaded Rufus's senses and drew him back into the present.

Never so grateful, Rufus wrapped his arms around Tseng as the storm of emotions that rocked through him ebbed and faded. Once, they dissipated into the darkness of the night. Rufus spoke. "No matter what happens from here on, I will fight! I will find a cure. I will heal the wounds of this war, and I will rebuild our world. And I want to do this with you at my side!" And as the sun rose over the horizon, the two lovers held each other and that fragile promise of a brighter future.

**Author's Note:**

> I had fun with this by not following Charles Dickinson's A Christmas Carol's traditional path and instead incomposite the title literally. This prompt allowed me to express the road Rufus may have had to tread on his and his Turk's path to redemption. This story is based during the time frame of On The Way To a Smile. So I hope I have the correct Gaian date


End file.
